


the light in the dark

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Series: coldflash week '16 [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Barry is the Flash, ColdFlash Week 2016, Disability, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Identity, Takes place in Season Two, but also captain cold, except captain cold isn't a criminal, len is his detective boyfriend, zoom has a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: barry allen is a csi by day and the flash by night. leonard snart is his detective boyfriend and occasionally helps his boyfriend stop petty crime with his cold gun. except he doesn't know it's his boyfriend. then zoom breaks barry's back and barry's left to tell the man he loves the truth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during season 2. Written for Coldflash Week 2016.

Barry’s sitting on the couch watching Law & Order, trying to calm his shaking hands in his lap, heart still pounding like a herd of stallions in his chest. He’s been awake for ten minutes, visions of Zoom tearing Len apart jolting him from sleep. He only hopes he doesn’t wake the older man.

 

Barry knows that it’s only a matter of time before Len finds out that Barry isn’t exactly just Barry Allen, CSI. Len’s one of the best detectives the CCPD has ever seen, aside from Joe, of course. Ever since Len arrived, crimes have been solved quicker and more effectively. Barry knows that his boyfriend will figure out he’s dating the Flash if Barry doesn’t tell him.

 

And the thing is, Barry wants to tell him. He wants the way he wants to run on his bad days, when the urge to feel the wind on his face and the electricity crackling in his body and the power rushing through his veins is almost too much. But he  _ can’t  _ and that’s possibly what makes it worse.

 

Barry can’t put Len in any more danger than he’s already in. 

 

“There’s a reason he’s called Captain Cold, Barry.” Caitlin had told him the other day when she was patching Barry up. “Cisco designed a cold gun for him, yes, but he also actively uses it to help you stop simple crimes and catch criminals. He’s made a lot of enemies, you don’t need to add any more to that pool.”

 

Barry trusts Caitlin, but part of him doesn’t want to listen. Part of him thinks Len would be better off knowing, that he’d be safer that way.

 

“Bar? Wha’s wrong?” Len is wrapping his arms around Barry, nuzzling into Barry’s neck sleepily. “‘Nother nightmare?”

 

“Small one.” Barry lies. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You should get some sleep.”

 

Len sighs and comes around the couch to tug Barry into his chest. The speedster immediately curls into his touch, making soft, happy noises in the back of his throat.

 

“Thought this thing we had going on was about honesty, Scarlet.” Len drawls, brushing circles into Barry’s shoulder. Barry feels a pang go through his chest at that.

 

“It’s nothing, Len, really.” Barry promises. “Just...about my mom.”

 

Len doesn’t respond, just tightens his hold on Barry. The detective knows what the death of Barry’s mother does to him, and while Barry feels slightly guilty about manipulating that, he knows he can’t exactly tell Len about Zoom. He can’t tell him about anything involving him being the Flash.

 

So instead they just sit there in silence, watching Law & Order.

 

/----/

 

It all goes to shit when Zoom breaks Barry’s back. Barry wakes up in STAR Labs and he can’t feel his legs and  _ shit, what am I gonna do?  _

 

He doesn’t know what to tell Len, because Joe’s spread the word around CCPD that Barry has a rather nasty cold except ever since they started dating, Len’s always taken care of Barry whenever he gets sick. And Barry loves it, too, because Len makes the most amazing tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches and they sit on the couch watching Harry Potter until Barry complains that he’s sleepy in a comically stuffed up voice.

 

Iris goes to see Len, trying to spin the lie that Barry is just feeling incredibly sick and he’s being taken care of but he doesn’t want Len to get sick, too. It only makes things worse because suddenly Barry’s phone is ringing with Len’s contact flashing across the screen.

 

“Barry, what in the hell is going on?” Len snaps as soon as Barry picks up. Barry winces and leans against the arm of the wheelchair. 

 

“Just a little sick, Len, nothing to worry about.” He says, trying to sound cheery, but it’s clearly not working. Len growls on the other end of the line.

 

“You don’t even sound sick, Scarlet. And I’ve always taken care of you when you’re sick.” He says bitterly.

 

“It’s...nothing, Len. Just a cold.” Barry gives a fake cough. “It’s all fine, Caitlin and Cisco are taking good care of me.”

 

Barry realizes his mistake as soon as the words leave his mouth. He closes his eyes, and listens to the unmistakeable sound of Len grabbing his keys.

 

“So you’re at STAR Labs, then.” Len says. “I’ll be right there.”

 

“No, Len-”

 

“Don’t, Barry. Just don’t.” Len sighs. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but I know something’s wrong and I want to be there for you. I’ll be there in thirteen minutes.”

 

He hangs up before Barry can say anything else and Barry is left staring at the phone in his hand, wondering what he’s going to do. Caitlin and Cisco are both watching him with wide eyes, panicked expressions on their faces.

 

“I’m fucked.” Barry says, running a hand over his face. 

 

“Hey, come on, man.” Cisco says. “We can figure something out, don’t worry. It’ll be fine. We can hide it from him somehow.”

 

“You mean we can hide the fact that Barry is paralyzed from the waist down from his detective boyfriend?” Caitlin asks, skeptical. “Not even we can do that, Cisco.”

 

“ _ You’re _ the one that encouraged Barry to keep his identity secret!” Cisco protests feebly. Barry holds a hand up.

 

“It’s no use, guys.” He says. “There’s no way to hide this from Len, I’m just going to have to come clean.”

 

Caitlin bites her lip and gives Barry a sympathetic look and Barry twists his hands in his lap and tries to pretend that he’s not terrified of how Len, the love of his life, will react. Because Barry knows that Len has every right to be angry at Barry for hiding this from him. He knows that Len has every right to leave Barry for keeping his true identity a secret instead of trusting him, telling him.

 

And that terrifies Barry because everything is looking so dark with Zoom and he just wants this one thing, this one light through everything bad that’s happening. Even if he deserves to lose it.

 

Barry’s outright lied to Len for so long and he doesn’t know what the older man will do or say once he knows the truth. Once he knows that Barry hasn’t been going to STAR Labs for testing done by Caitlin and Cisco, once he knows that the real reason Barry never wants him to come with him is because he doesn’t want the detective to see the Flash suit or any Flash related things.

 

He doesn’t know what to  _ do _ .

 

“Barry?” He hears Len call. Barry takes a deep breath and musters all the courage he has.

 

“He’s in here.” Caitlin calls back gently, her eyes still trained on Barry, the message clear in her look.  _ We’re here for you. No matter what. _

 

“Barry, what….” Len trails off as he enters the Cortex and sees Barry sitting in the wheelchair. “What the  _ hell _ happened?”

“I- Len- I just- I couldn’t-” Barry breaks off just as Len reaches him, pulling over a chair to sit with him and taking the speedster’s hands in his.

 

“It’s okay, Barry.” Len says softly. “Just tell me what happened.”

 

“I wanted to tell you!” Barry blurts out, hot tears streaking down his cheeks. “God, Len, I wanted to tell you. Every day, every time you were out there with me, every night that we laid together in bed, I wanted to tell you. But I couldn’t figure out how and now you’re gonna hate me for lying to you about it for so long and I don’t know how to deal with that and I’m so  _ sorry _ , Len, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Barry.” Len brushes a tear away from Barry’s cheek. “Is this about you being the Flash?”

 

Barry stops crying abruptly, a gurgling sound coming from his throat, followed by an incredulous hiccup. “Wait, you- you  _ know?! _ ”

 

“Barry, I’m your boyfriend and the best detective the CCPD has. Of  _ course _ I know. Why do you think I asked Cisco for the cold gun?” Len asks.

 

“To- to stop criminals?” Barry guesses. Len shakes his head, smiling fondly.

 

“No, you idiot. To protect you. To help you. You’re not the world’s best secret keeper, Barry.” Len says. Barry hiccups again.

 

“So you’re...not mad?” He asks.

 

“No, I’m furious. And we’re going to have to talk about this. But I also understand that you thought you were doing what was best, Barry, and I can’t fault you for that.” Len brushes his hand against Barry’s cheek. “Now, what happened? What did Zoom do to you?”

 

“He broke his back.” Cisco pipes up. “Barry’s paralyzed from the waist down.”

 

“At least for the next day or so.” Caitlin quickly says to a furious-looking Len. “Barry’s super-healing has already caused the damage to mostly heal.”

 

“That bastard.” Len says quietly. “I’m gonna destroy him.”

 

“Not now.” Barry insists. “Cuddles, first.”

 

Len smirks. “Thought you weren’t sick, Bar?”

 

“Well, I clearly am, Len. I broke my back, I need attention and care.” Len leans in and gives Barry a kiss.

“Well then, Scarlet Speedster,” Len says. “Shall we start with  _ The Sorcerer’s Stone _ ?”

  
“We shall.” Barry says and smiles at his brilliant detective boyfriend. And the light in the dark glows a little bit brighter.


End file.
